Episode 154: Working through Stress in Relationships

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Stress and relationships seem to go hand in hand, and it doesn't always have the best outcomes. But what if it could? This is part two of a two-part series with Dr. Mariam Coaster and in this episode, she is sharing practical tips for all of us working moms on how we can show up as our best selves, and restore relationships in spite of the stress around them.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Mariam Coaster Ph.D., LMFT (InRelationship.us; mariamcoaster.com) is a wife to a wonderful husband, and mother to two beautiful children, a two-year-old boy, and a 3-month-old girl. Professionally, she has a doctorate in neuroscience and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She primarily works with couples and women at her private practice in Franklin, TN. She is passionate about helping people grow towards healing and restoration in their closest relationships. She is also the co-founder of InRelationship, and a marriage workshop called 7 Conversations to Enrich your Marriage. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family, cooking up a new-found recipe, and being actively involved in her church.

TIPS SHARED ON THE SHOW

Working through stressors in relationships We navigate stress in relationships through ownership and re-connection. This results in greater emotional health, holiness and healing in relationships.

Own your part: taking ownership for your part in the stress by spending time in self-reflection and prayer

1) Choosing to step away from the distressing relationship to gather yourself.

2) During self-reflection, pray for humility, wisdom and connection with God and yourself.

3) Use the stress indicators (feelings, thoughts and body sensations) to slow down and access heart issues:

a. What is really bothering me about this relationship?

b. What am I choosing to rely on or hope in more than God? What heart issues or ruling desires can I let go of?

c. How can the Gospel reorient my perspective to accept Christ’s perfect, sufficient grace, and therefore extend mercy, grace and love in the relationship?

ACTION ITEMS

Initiate Re-connection

1) Pray for wisdom on how to approach the relationship – ask for an opportune time to share your heart.

2) Share how your stress indicators (feelings, thoughts, and body sensations) showed up for you in the relationship.

3) Share heart issues or desires that became inordinately important during the stress. Share about your own repentance and how God gave you perspective in the situation.

4) Ask for what you may need to restore connection with that person, and talk about how to work through such a stressor together in the future.

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR GUEST

Mariam Coaster
Occupation:
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Email:
mariam@mariamcoaster.com
Website
inrelationship.usmariamcoaster.com
Social Media Links
inrelationship.us

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Episode 153: How to Deal when Stress is a Heart Issue

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Stress is a part of our lives, but there is a healthy way to deal with it. Today my guest is a fellow working mom, Dr. Mariam Coaster and we are talking all about our internal relationship with stress and how our relationship with God plays into it. Join us, as Mariam shares practical tips on how we can self-assess our stress and give you strategies to show up as your best self when we find ourselves at our worst. This is part one of a two-part series. Join us next week as we move the conversation to discuss stress and our relationships.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Mariam Coaster Ph.D., LMFT (InRelationship.us; mariamcoaster.com) is a wife to a wonderful husband, and mother to two beautiful children, a two-year-old boy, and a 3-month-old girl. Professionally, she has a doctorate in neuroscience and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She primarily works with couples and women at her private practice in Franklin, TN. She is passionate about helping people grow towards healing and restoration in their closest relationships. She is also the co-founder of InRelationship, and a marriage workshop called 7 Conversations to Enrich your Marriage. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family, cooking up a new-found recipe, and being actively involved in her church.

TIPS SHARED ON THE SHOW

Stress is a God-given opportunity to grow in humility, wisdom, and connection.

  • Humility because we recognize that we are not ultimately in control of our lives.

  • Wisdom because we can receive greater perspective and insight about our relationships.

  • Connection because God never intended for us to go through this life on our own.

Identifying stress in ourselves and our relationships. There are three internal stress indicators that God created in everyone:

1) Feelings: what emotions are coming up about God, ourselves, and others in this stressful situation?

2) Thoughts: what beliefs and cognition are coming up about God, ourselves and others regarding this stressful situation?

3) Body sensations – where in your body do you notice the stress? [Our brain processes stress by initiating the fight, flight or freeze mechanism. It also initiates us to seek out connection during stressful times.]

The internal stress indicators help access heart issues.

A heart issue is a desire to rely on or trust in anything more than God himself. Examples include a pride, self-righteousness, self-reliance, desperate need for approval, control, power, false identity, etc. Even good desires, when they become ruling or dominating desires, will become a stressor in relationships.

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR GUEST

Mariam Coaster
Occupation:
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Email:
mariam@mariamcoaster.com
Website
inrelationship.usmariamcoaster.com
Social Media Links
inrelationship.us

Life balance at your fingertips? Yes, we got it right here on our official Your Life Rocks life balance app! Download free now.

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Episode 152: Proactively Influence the Stress in your Life

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Hey guys! I am so glad you are here. We are going into Fall and I could not be more excited. Don’t get me wrong I love summer, but Fall is my favorite time of the year. It’s like second new year's eve, kind of… like a fresh start. Summer is a little bit of a slower, more casual pace where Fall… well, things just get busier. And with busyness comes with stress. Well, we can’t avoid stress, it is ever present in our busy lives, but there are times that seem to be more stressful.

So, as always, I have got your back. We are kicking off a series all about stress and I could not be more excited to bring it to you. Over the course of the next few weeks, we will be talking about stress from a mental, spiritual, relational and physical perspective. We have some really incredible guests lined up for you to learn from so if you have not done so already, make sure you hit subscribe so you don’t miss it.

Now if you are listening inside of the Life Balance app, you don’t have to do anything. The new episodes will just roll right in for you. Do you have the Your Life Rocks app yet? You should go download it today if not. Not only will you find all the podcasts in there, but you will have access to the Weekly Success Planning tool that will show you step by step how to uplevel your prep day to have a more balanced week, plus the weekly planning Checklist. All for free. Now, if you're ready to really define balance for yourself and create it in your life, then you can upgrade inside the app to Life Balance Membership where you will have access to all the courses, monthly group coaching, and more tools to help you shine and stay focused. It’s in both iTunes and Google play store so I hope you check it out.

Like I said before, we are kicking off a series all about stress and we are starting today. Now there are many things that can influence our wellbeing. Things that influence peace and harmony in our lives and things that influence stress and conflict. And the amazing thing is, these things influence everything, every area of life. In preparing for this episode to talk to you all about stress, I was originally going to give you 3 tips to help you alleviate stress in your surroundings. But, because God is so awesome, he really used this last week to teach me a thing or two about stress. You see, I always pray about the show. I always ask for God to lead the conversation and when I had the idea to do a series on stress, well I should have seen the stress coming, right? Well in the process of living through one of the most stressful months of my life, and interviewing experts on the topic, praying about it daily and really searching God in every situation, I had a realization. The tactic that I used to affect change in my career was the same tactic that I needed to use for my life.

I mentioned influence before and I learned this tactic of influence and affecting change through one of my all-time favorite business books. It’s called The Influencer. I’ll link to it in the show notes if you want to grab it. In the book, they talk about the 6 sources of influence that you need to focus on when you want to influence change. It’s essentially your ability and motivation that presents itself personally, socially, and structurally. For today’s episode, we are going to go through these to proactively deal with stress. Cause like it or not stress is a part of our lives, especially as working moms. It’s coming and we need to be ready for it.

Let’s first look at ourselves personally. For this category, I’m not going to talk about the personal ability to deal with stress because our stress resilience is so different from one person to the next. And honestly, next week’s episode deals with that topic so greatly. But I do want to talk for just a moment about personal motivation. Are you motivated to live a more peaceful life or do you like being stressed? Does your stress level tie into your identity? Does it make you feel important or worthy? We have talked about this before in previous episodes, but we called it “busy”. You see, some of us are seeking peace and balance in our lives, but somewhere along the line being a mess is serving us in some way. It might be keeping you feeling safe, from showing up and being the bright light you were created to be. It might be so that others expect less out of you if you are giving off the impression of stress and busy. Or it could just be that it makes you feel important. Maybe you had a role model in the past that demonstrated being stressed all the time and it just kind of stuck as a model to emulate. If this is you, and you are seeking peace, you won't find it unless your motivation for peace is greater than your motivation for stress.

It reminds me of one of my favorite stories of the Bible, from John 5. It’s the one with the man at the spring laying there for years and not doing the things that he believed would make him well. He didn’t get in the springs, there was always an excuse on why he couldn’t. But he was close enough to it to make it look like he was making an effort. Jesus saw right to his heart and asked, “Do you want to get well?”

Sometimes we need to ask ourselves that same question and be really honest with the answer.

Moving on to social influence and impact on stress. Let’s look at the ability and motivation.
Let’s start with motivation because it is so closely connected to what we were just talking about. Have you ever found yourself in a one-up misery party? You know, where you are like, “I am so tired, I woke up at 4 am this morning” and your co-worker is like “Lucky you, I was up with the baby at 3.” and then someone else says “You got up at 3? I didn’t get to bed till 3 And had to wake up at 5.” You get the idea. Sometimes we find ourselves in social circles that are conversations where the cool kids seem the most miserable. Um, why are we racing to the bottom? What’s in that for the winner? That’s not a game I want to play and I hope you don’t either. Be motivated by talking with and being around people that take care of their emotional, and mental well being. Choose the friends that choose joy. Not stress.

On the other side, it is so good to have a solid social network that you can express when you genuinely need help. Whether it’s just prayer or someone to take your kids for a couple of hours so you can decompress or even just to vent to when you need to verbally vomit.

I will admit it. I am a verbal processor. I need to speak things in order to work them out. This last month coming off with so much stress, I had to get my best friend a gift. She had to listen to me vent multiple times a day, every day. I listen for her when she needs it. God bless my poor husband who had to pick up more than his fair share of the slack around the house, held me when I cried from exhaustion, and listened to me when I was angry. We need these people. You need these people. Remember, I said that this was to help you be more proactive? Drops in the Bucket (another good career book by the way). When you are not overwhelmed by stress, seek out others around you that you can care for. These relationships are not just about what we get from them, but what we give to them. So when you don’t need to take, give wildly.

Ok, now we are on to the structure. If you have listened for some time at all, you know I love structure. And this is such a strong piece to everything. I think we overestimate how our environment and the things outside of us can influence the inside of us. This is a huge part of the weekly success planning course. Do you want to read your bible in the morning? Where is your bible? Not in a place you can find it in the morning without waking people up? Guess who is going to have a hard time building that habit? Yep, you. Now put your Bible proactively by the coffee maker? You have built a structure of success. Now you will remember (that’s your ability) and you will be motivated. I mean how nice does it sound to sit down with your hot cup of coffee and read the word of God? Pretty good.

So how does this relate to stress? Well, ask yourself this one question. What about your environment stresses you out? It might be a mess, it might be seeing too many things and that overwhelms you. It could be color, yes, too many bright colors can stress out some people. It might be darkness it could be brightness. It’s a very personal thing. I think the most common is a messy environment. I think because it plays into the things we know we need to do and are not doing them, or guilt or whatever.

Once you have figured out what in your physical space stresses you out, do the opposite and set up systems so that you can keep that one thing taken care of. Again, it’s about being proactive.

Let me give you an example. For me, it’s a clean floor. When the floor is dirty, it contributes to my stress. I like a clean floor. It sounds weird, but when the floor is clean I think I can deal with more things coming my way. When the floor is dirty, when things get stressful, I have to clean the floor. I just have to. So, I have systems in place to keep the floor clean. Picking up the floor is part of my nightly routine and the floor gets vacuumed multiple times a week to keep it clean.

Another example, I once had a boss that could not handle a messy desk. He was really great at his job when he was anywhere else, except his office. His desk was always a mess. People would come in and lay things on his desk that needed his attention. It wasn’t good. One time in a one on one, he was commenting on his desk and how it stressed him out. All I said is “Maybe you should tell them not to do that and come up with another system.” It was a light bulb moment. Right away, he made the change, came up with a different system, and his stress level went way down.

Like I said before, stress is going to come. Like it or not. But we can choose to do something proactively to help us cope. I am so excited for next week’s episode as we dive further into the topic of stress. Catch it inside the Your Life Rocks Life Balance app.

If you found value in this week’s episode, would you do me a favor and share it with someone? Take a screenshot and share it on social media or even just mention the show or the app to a friend. It means the world to me and helps spread the message that it’s time to redefine what balance is and acknowledge that it is possible because all things are possible through Christ Jesus.

I’ll catch you next week and until then, keep building a life that rocks.

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Episode 151: Communication in the Workplace

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Effective communication in the workplace will help you grow in your career and be the leader you aim to be. In this episode with Dr. Claire Carver Dais, learn three things you can do right now to help you show up authentically you, just as God intended.

About Our Guest

Claire’s professional life has straddled the worlds of sport, business and academia. A PhD specializing in English and Communications, Claire has also won medals in synchronized swimming at the Olympic, Pan American, World Championship and Commonwealth Games. In 2003, she launched Clearday, her own communications and management consultancy, combining her appreciation of effective business coaching techniques, and keen understanding of teaming, goal-setting, performance management, and communications, to help corporate leaders achieve their full potential. Her corporate clients include KPMG Global, KPMG US, Johnson Controls, University of Toronto, Noble, University of Saskatchewan, and Royal Bank of Canada.

Action items From the show

  • Authenticity: Say what you mean and do what you say
  • Integrity and trust-building
  • Stellar first impressions
  • Avoiding the rumor mill
  • Curiosity
  • Powerful questions and active listening
  • Creating a culture of feedback

tips shared on the show

1.  Authenticity: Say what you mean and do what you say

  • Integrity and trust-building
  • Stellar first impressions
  • Avoiding the rumor mill

2.  Curiosity :  Powerful questions and active listening

  • Creating a culture of feedback 

3.  Posture: Taking on a posture of openness, both figuratively and literally, a correlation between posture and confidence.

  • Maintain open communication, even when it’s hard.
  • Great teams talk.

 

Limited time free offer!

In addition to communications coaching, over the years I’ve offered presentation skills development coaching for clients, corporate executives, Olympians and Paralympians, through their companies and sport organizations. Many people have asked how they can get access to the same training, so I’ve developed a membership site called AMPLIFY, for individuals who want to boost their public speaking skills. That website should be up soon… but in the meantime, listeners can sign up for the free public speaking webinar I’ll be delivering on Sept 27th at 1 pm EST. Sign up at www.amplifycommunity.ca. The page and sign up link for the free webinar goes live by Monday, Aug 27th, so it will be ready by the time the podcast airs.

Learn more about our guest

Occupation: Communications Coach
Email: Claire@clearday.ca
Website: www.clearday.ca
Social Media Links: @ClaireCarverD

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Episode 150: Communication in Marriage

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Your marriage is the most important relationship you have on this earth and with communication being such a huge part of what makes relationships work, well, we needed to discuss this. It's easy as a working mom to not make time to connect with our husbands most likely from being too busy and having his presence taken for granted. In this episode, you'll learn 3 ways on how you can become a better communicator with your spouse.

About Our Guest

Mary Whitman Ortiz, author of "Why Can’t I Talk to Him/Her about Sex?" loves to inspire her audiences to create a true connection in their marriage. She is a certified life coach and trained facilitator with Prepare-Enrich, Adventures in Marriage, and Marriage Mentors. She's worked with women recovering from sexual intimacy issues such as human trafficking, sexual abuse, abortion, spousal pornography usage, and distorted cultural messages. For over 20 years she's facilitated self-awareness and relationship development for corporate, church, and community groups. Mary draws from her B.S. and M.A. in Gifted Education to create interactive and presentations with impact. She founded Limitless Intimacy, a movement to support a healthy and Godly view of love, sex, and intimacy.

Action items from the show

Use this Communication Tool as follows:
1. Agree upon a mutually convenient time and location to share.
2. Pick a setting free from distractions.
3. Express ideas in a neutral tone (ex. not while irritated or angry).
4. Let one person do all the speaking, while the other listens only.
5. Switch roles and let the other person do all the speaking.
6. Answer questions or follow-up on issues AFTER completed.
7. Use DTR to gain understanding and build connection.

  • Appreciations
"I like how you are helping me more with the dishes."
  • New Information
"I have a meeting this week with a new client."
  • Puzzles
"I’m puzzled why the toothpaste cap is rarely on the tube."
  • Concerns with request for change
"I’ve noticed that you interrupt me when I’m talking and I’d rather you wait until I’m done."
  • Apologies
"I’m sorry that I pressured you about buying another house."
  • Wishes, Hopes and Dreams
"I have always wanted to go to Europe and visit a real castle."
  • Prayer
"Would you pray with me about this issue I have going on at work?"

Tips shared on the show

How to Improve communication in your marriage

1. Know what you want to talk about.

  • Separate the issues from the hurt and confusion
  • Focus on your role in the situation
  • Release offenses, disappointment, grief

(Be responsible for you. Step into your God-given confidence. Reframe your identity by His word.)

2. Create the best setting possible.

  • Find (ask for) a time that is mutually agreed upon
  • Choose the least amount of distractions
  • Enter the conversation with peaceful outlook

(When God is your ultimate source, the goal of every interaction is to increase understanding.)

3. Practice a daily/weekly check-in.

  • Understand different levels of communication (facts, opinions, needs, dreams)
  • Access vulnerability for deepest connection
  • Share praise, requests for change, apologies, prayer

(You are either growing closeness or distance with every step you take.)

Learn More About Our Guest

Website
http://www.marywhitmanortiz.com
Social Media Links
https://www.facebook.com/MaryWhitmanOrtiz/
https://www.instagram.com/marywhitmanortiz/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-whitman-ortiz-ma-clc-b8943034/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/sexandintimacyforthechristianwoman/
Couples' Communication Kit: bit.ly/2KwnKMa

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Episode 149: Becoming a Better Communicator

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Do you ever wish you could get your point across better? Communication is something that touches every part of our life and is something so vital to successful living. In this episode, we learn from our guest, Dr. Janet Birkey on the fundamentals of being a better communicator.

About our guest

Dr. Janet Birkey is a professional clinical counselor who is licensed in both New Mexico and Texas, and is also a coach. Additionally, Janet is a full time professor where she teaches communication courses. Janet and her husband, John, have been married more than 34 years, are the parents to two married children and a German Shepherd who lacks both manners and boundaries.

Action Items From the Show

  1. Make a list of the 5 people that you want better communication with
  2. Be intentional about observing them and seeing what they need.
  3. Serve them.

Tips shared on the show

1. Anyone can learn to communicate well.

2. Decide what kind of a relationship you want.

   a. Are you willing to invest in the relationship

3. Don’t just listen, be a willing, interested, engaged listener.

4. Learn to recognize and accept bids from others.

    a. John Gottman: The Love Lab (no, this is not x-rated, lol)

5. Learn from the masters...or at least people who you like their communication style!

6. Figure out the best time to communicate with others.

    a. Use “I” messages

    b. Don’t ask, “Why?”

    c. Make sure they are not hangry (hungry/angry) or tired.

7. Learn the personality of the person you are communicating with.

    a. Lots of personality inventories

    b. Lots of things you can read to recognize personalities

8. Learn to express your own wants, needs, and desires in the relationship without nagging, being passive aggressive, being harsh.

9. Understand that all behavior has a reason behind it.

    a. Whatever your communication style, there is a reason.

10. Understand that communication is can be hard and it does take work.

    a. Where did we get the idea that just because we like/love someone, it’s going to be easy?

    b. Gottman: 68% of all relationship issues are unsolvable.

Learn more about our guest

 

Exciting news ahead! We will be launching our very own App this week. Add us on our Social Media Accounts to stay updated!

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7-Week Challenge: Define Your Own Balance

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This is it.

I can hardly believe we are already at the end of our 7 week series, challenging you to go a little deeper this summer!

If you are new to the show, let me tell you that we typically have guests sharing their wisdom and best tips to help you grow in all 8 areas of life.  The 8 areas are your faith, marriage, parenting, career, health, home, finances, and lastly friends/fun. Mixed into all that, you get me talking about balance, time management or something that God just laid on my heart to share with all of you.  But since it’s summer time, we decided to do something different. We wanted to go a little deeper and give you some good work to do.

How has this challenge been for you?  Did you complete all 7 weeks? Before you answer that, let me give you permission to say... not yet.  All the content is waiting for you in the free bonus content and in your podcast player. Whenever you feel the urge to go a little deeper, remember that it is there.  You don’t have to do all the weeks, but you just might want to.

Believe me, as I am looking over my long and deep to do list, I say this to myself, as much as I am saying it to you.  You don’t have to do everything in front of you. You have a choice. Choose what you want to pick up and what you want to let go of.  

And that, my friends is what this final week is about.  Your choice.

Before we dive in, let me remind you where you can get your bonus content all together from all 7 weeks, packaged together nice and neat for you.  You can grab it for free by going to YourLifeRocks.com, our Facebook page, or head on over to Instagram. To find me there, look up Your.Life.Rocks.  Remember, the dots are important.

Now when we talk about balance being possible, I have to tell you, I believe that this is the case with every part of my soul.  There are so many people that will tell you that it’s not. That it’s impossible. Can I tell you a secret? I love it when people say that.  Why? Okay, so I didn’t always love it. It used to make me mad. But now, I see it as an invitation. An invitation to ask them to define what they mean by balance.  And when they explain it, well they are right.

Usually when people think that balance is not possible, it's because they have defined it in a way that is like a time clock or a score card where everything has to be even.  Who says that's what balance has to mean?

Why am I so adamant about this?  

Okay, let me lay it all out for you.  Being a working mom is hard. Like really hard.  You are leaving your kids in daycare, with family, or if your kids are older like mine, you are leaving them to fend for themselves.  All while you go to work and give it your all. Then you get to come home and be a homemaker, a wife, mom, housekeeper, chef, and try your hardest to do it all with small talk and ask questions to your family about their day and make connections with them.  You wake up wanting to work out, grow in your faith, spend time with your friends, pursue a hobby, or just be. But time is limited. You only have so many hours before work, after work and on the weekends.

It’s a lot.  And let’s not even get into the emotions, the self-talk, the judgement, all the things that happen between our ears as we process and over analyze and beat ourselves up.  

As working moms we are doing the very best we can to hold it all together.  Then to have someone say that, balance is not possible. Something has to give.  You know what will give? Your honest to goodness effort to try. And it is a slippery slope when you start to lower the bar. It will keep getting lower and lower and lower until one day, you will look up and wonder… who is this person? This is not me.  

It’s not about being perfect or proving something to someone.  It’s not about being in denial or being a martyr. It’s about being the best version of you for those around you.  It’s about leaning on God’s strength when you don’t have strength of your own.

It’s about choosing each and every day that, that day is worth it to give it your all and believing that yes, you can do this life.  The life that God called you to. The life that God blessed you with.

Truth is, I don’t want to live in a world where working in my giftings is not compatible with loving my family and serving them.  It really does not seem right.

Who says what balance is supposed to be?  Let me tell you a secret, you get to decide.  You can define what balance looks like for you.  What it means and what it is. You can set your own bar and live toward that possibility.  

Let me tell you how I define balance.  I define it by making choices that intentionally  align my actions with the goals I have set for every area of my life.  I came up with this definition for myself out of what I was experiencing when my life was way out of balance.  I was focused solely on goals for one area of my life. I might have made goals for other areas, but I didn't work toward them.  My actions were not reflecting my intentions or my goals.

 

So this week’s challenge.

  1. Grab your notebook and begin to write out what a balanced life would look like for you. Not a perfect life, but a balanced life. Feel free to borrow my definition and give yourself to adjust it 'till it feels right.  But whether you use my definition or your own, really journal it, explore it, and day dream a little.

  2. Once you feel like you have exhausted the daydream, ready it back to yourself and see if you can summarize it to one sentence.  Example: To me, life balance means that I am living with intention to reach goals in each area of my life.

  3. Write this down, save it in your phone, put it where you are going to see it and check in with yourself on it.

Here is the thing, everything that we have talked about in this challenge over the last 7 weeks is all good.  But what makes it great is when you actually do it. When you apply it to your life.

It’s a process.  It’s not a one and done kind of thing.  It will take time to go through it all and truly its about growth.  Think of balance as a verb. Its something that you do, not a place to arrive to.  Imagine standing on a beam or a curb in the parking lot with one foot. Balance is not when you are steady.  When you are steady, you are standing on one foot. When you wobble and try not to fall, you are intentionally balancing yourself.

It takes effort, but it’s worth it to live fully as the amazing woman that God has called you to be.

Because when you go after balance in your life, when you define it for yourself and start to live into it, there is no better feeling in the world.

If you have listened to the show before, then you have likely heard me talk about the three pillars to balance.  Regardless of how you define balance, there are three things that make it a reality.

  1. Giving your life God.  Like fully, not holding anything back. Truly living for him.

  2. Being in Community

  3. Following systems that help ease the burden and keep you focused.

All of these things are a part of the Life Balance system and our new Life Balance app.  In the app you will experience a 20-week program that will walk you through focusing on God’s will for your life, building habits, learning to build on your habits to reach your goals in each area of life, and focusing on identifying the true things that will help you grow and for the things you learn to actually stick.  Plus, it has the tools to keep everything together for you.

In addition to the courses I just talked about, it has all the podcasts, plus a link straight to our community and two of my favorite tools:

1. Your morning routine creator - to help you start the day with intention.

2. Sunday prep checklist - this houses everything you need to do to prep for the best week ahead. Plus, get motivational messages, reminders, and tips to build a life that rocks.

For the courses in the app, the whole Life Balance program is available easily at your fingertips with an assigned progression that will guide you through learning and applying these fundamentals in a way that is not overwhelming.  If you can listen to this podcast, then you can do this program.

The goal is to help you create more days where you feel on top of the world.  You know those days. The ones that you feel like everything is going your way, you have joy.  You are productive, and just feel light. You know those kind of days? You can have more of them.  And the best part, that goodness will flow over into your family, friends, and everyone you work with.  

Your Life Rocks because You Rock and the Life Balance app will be your guide.

The app is launching this month!  Search for the Life Balance app in the app store or go to Your Life Rocks.com for more details.

Next week we are back to the regular podcast, but with a slightly new format that I think you will be excited about.  For the rest of this month, we will be joined by guests to help you become a better communicator. Communication is key for your career, your marriage, and really, every interaction that you have. It’s going to be a great series.

Until then, keep building a life that rocks!

 

Exciting news! The Your Life Rocks App is coming very soon, cool right? Everything you'll need at the tip of your fingers. 

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7-Week Challenge: Changing Your Perspective on Your Work

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Let me ask you a question.

Have you ever lacked motivation to do your work?  Maybe it’s a project at your job, or cleaning the kitchen… we all have those times when we just don’t want to.  When we would rather be doing anything else. It’s totally normal, but highly annoying.

This is what we are focused on for week 6 of our challenge:  Finding the motivation when you just don’t have it in you. If you are new to the show, I’m so glad you found us!  We are doing a summer series all about helping you dive in deeper and use this season to grow, learn, and listen to what God has for you.

I have developed bonus content around each week of this series for you.  I totally realize that many of you are listening to this while you are driving, working, or some other activity where you can’t really take notes.  So, in the bonus content you have the activities that we go through on the show, plus more content to help you get the most from the weekly challenge.

You can get your free bonus content by visiting our website, Yourliferocks.com, our Facebook page or over on Instagram at Your.Life.Rocks

Last week in the bonus content, there was additional tips and words to use with your boss and with your spouse when you need to create boundaries around your time to give you more white space in your calendar.

GRAB ALL THE BONUS CONTENT FOR THIS CHALLENGE BY CLICKING THE BUTTON BELOW.  IT'S ALL FREE AS A GIFT TO YOU TO HELP YOU BUILD A LIFE THAT ROCKS!

 

Let’s dive into this week’s challenge.  

Work can be a challenge, even if you have your dream job.  Truth is, there is always going to be things we don’t like to do and people we don’t like to interact with.  Sometimes we can think that we are in the wrong job or doing the wrong thing because we have struggles in our work. Every job has it’s things that are not awesome. I really like my job and I am doing things that I enjoy and still there are days that make me crazy.  And while we are going to be talking about your job/career in this episode, what we are talking about really can be applied to everything.

There are all kinds of things that we “do” that we might not love to do.  Things that are not enjoyable. Life isn’t always enjoyable but that isn’t a reason to not do it.  I know you know this. This is why being an adult is hard. But does that mean we have to suffer through it?  Um, I don’t think so.

Suffering has more to do with our perspective than our situation.

When we focus on what we don’t like or don’t want to do, it gets heavier.  It feels bigger and harder to do. That makes us want to avoid it. And procrastination sets in. But what if that wasn’t the case?  What if you could lean into the discomfort, push through and come out the other side with a smile on your face?  That would be pretty rad, right? By the way, I decided to bring the word “rad” back.

So how do you do it?  
How to embrace the hard work you just don’t want to do?
How do you handle the people you just don’t want to handle?

Well, welcome to this week’s challenge.  It’s changing your perspective by committing your work to the Lord.  And we started talking about the challenging things, but this is for the good stuff too.  The stuff that you are great at.

It’s easy to give the hard stuff to God… when you can remember to do it.  But we don’t always think to commit the work we love to God. When we do, our work becomes worship. And when we commit our work to God, he takes the burden and makes the work light.  

It’s my prayer that as you go  through the steps of this challenge that God would reveal himself to you in new ways.  That your mind and thoughts toward your job become renewed. That you see with fresh eyes and give you fresh energy toward what you do.

So here are the steps of the challenge for you:

  1. Review the tasks of your position. List them out.  Now, to fully committing your work and your job to the Lord, I recommend printing out your job description for your job for this exercise.  You might need to make adjustments in the margin because I don’t think that I have ever seen a job description that accurately resembles the actual job.

If you work for yourself or you don’t have a job description… write a short one for yourself.  

As a side note that has nothing to do with this challenge, reviewing your job description from time to time can be a very powerful tool. It helps you focus on the things that matter and can make you more effective. It also helps with negotiating a pay raise or other perks when you start to realize all that you do that provides value for your company.

  1. Look for opportunities that you can use to glorify God. Go through your job description and task and identify those things that use your gifts.  Sometimes we glorify the Lord by our work and results in things that are not our strengths or the things that we suffer through.  Let’s be honest. These are the things that we could never do in our own strength. These are the things we really need God for.

  2. Think through the people that you interact with.  How can you be the light for them? Maybe you work with other Christians, how can you support them in their walk?  How can you utilze them in yours? It’s not an accident that you work along side them, so what purpose is there for it?  For those that are not of the same faith, how can you be the reflection of Christ to them?

  3. Once you have asked yourself these questions, thought about it, prayed about it, journal about it… it’s time to take action.

I’m going to get really practical here. This will help you with so much on the job… just this one thing but it’s also a big part of the challenge.  

You may already be doing this, and if you are, you will just make a slight adjustment.

On your work calendar, block off the first 15 minutes of your day with a reoccurring meeting with yourself.  This meeting is to set up your day. It’s a time to review your calendar to see what meetings and appointments you have, what projects you are working on, etc.  I recommend making a little reminder list in the calendar event to remind you what your intentions are for the first 15 minutes. Make one of those intentions to commit your day to the Lord.  It’s a great reminder to pray over the meetings and iterations of your day. To praise God for the blessing of the position you are in… regardless of the position and to ask for what you need in your weaknesses.  Mark the things that you think will be tough that way you can remind yourself to change your perspective and commit the task to God. Do the work for him and not for your boss or your company. Do it for Him.

Just as much as you are asking him to come along side you in your day, you are giving your day to him.  It takes away any expectations for how the day will go. After all, he can use all things for our good. Sometimes that means teaching us lessons or showing us new things about ourselves or others that can be hard to walk through.  But when we have the perspective to see what God wants to do with the situation, well, it changes everything.

I’m excited to see how you will complete this challenge.  Hop on over to our Facebook group or comment on Instagram. Please let me know what you do for work and how you are honoring God by committing your work to him.