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I am so excited about today’s show because it’s a huge milestone! 100 episodes! So to celebrate, we are talking about everything. I’ll be answering some of your questions about finding life balance, and we will hear from some of the experts we have had on the show sharing their best tips for you!
If this is your first time tuning in, welcome! I am so glad you found us….especially this week! You’ll get a great sense of what this show is all about in this episode. I hope you find this podcast as a great resource to help you as you juggle being a working mom and that you subscribe to the show so you don’t miss any upcoming shows! There is also an extensive back catalog of episodes for you to dive into.
You’ll notice that some of the episodes will have a word in brackets before the show title. That way you know what area of life we are coving in that episode.
Now at the end of the episode, I have a special announcement. If I tell you now, I'll go on and on and there is some other really good stuff I want to get to, but stay tuned till the end. I know you’ll be excited to hear because it’s an answer to a request I get all the time.
Because we are celebrating 100 episodes, we are offering several giveaways! Join us over on Instagram and in our facebook group to learn more about how you can win prizes from Your life rocks and from some of our amazing guests.
This show was started to provide support to working Christian moms that struggled to find the support that they needed. That spoke to just them. When I started this show, I was working a job that required heavy travel and a lot of hours. I wasn’t able to join bible study at church and connecting with other moms is hard when your day is full of work hours and taking care of home and family. So as I began to search online, I found other women like me, but they were struggling to find balance and even saying they had given up on the notion of it.
If that's you right now, I want to tell you that it is possible. You have to believe it is. There are two sides to everything….God created it that way. I know balance is possible because I have experienced an unbalanced life. The guilt, the shame, the loneliness. It consumed me for years. By the grace of God, and his guiding steps, I was able to create a system and structure for balance in my life. And I wanted to share that with more women. I wanted to not only give them the structure of the plan but the mindset that it is possible.
It’s counter culture I know. The world tells us we should be overwhelmed, living on coffee, feeling guilty, not good enough as a mom, conflicted in our marriage, and striving for our careers. It’s a lie. That’s not what God has for us.
You can have peace, manage the fullness of your life. Be the mom you want your kids to have, be the wife you are called to be, grow in your career, reach your goals, and have joy in the process. Um, ya, actually enjoy life. Say what?
Yes, life balance is possible.
Balance is not about perfection. It’s not about not having a care in the world and everything going smoothly 100% of the time. Balance is not a destination.
Balance is obedience. Balance is freedom. Balance is not as complicated as we would like to think.
It feels complicated because there is a lot to balance. Let’s be honest about that. There is a lot. But let’s not turn our blessings into stresses. It’s about priorities.
Have you seen or heard about the story of the professor showing the illustration of priorities and time management? Rocks, sand, pebbles, water all in a jar? If you start with water and sand, you won't find room for the rocks and pebbles. It doesn’t all fit in the jar.
But if you start with the big rocks, put in the pebbles, then the sand, then the water….it fits.
That’s what Your Life Rocks is all about. It’s about the rocks that you have to juggle. Your faith, marriage, parenting, your career, health, finances, home, and friendships and fun.
I want you to picture trying to juggle 8 rocks. I don’t know anyone that could do that. And if you drop one….that could really hurt….cause damage. Same in our life. All of the rocks carry weight and value and it’s not easy.
What makes it possible is Jesus. We can’t do it without him. He wants us to lay all those heavy rocks down at his feet. He wants to carry them for you. That’s our number one pillar of balance. Jesus. Letting go. Giving it to him. Following his will for your life. You know the bible has instruction on each of these areas of life. When we follow him and his will, life is easier. Not perfect. But his grace is enough.
I said before that balance is not a destination. It’s a journey and we need each other to make it. The second pillar is to make your world bigger by including more people in it. Loving people and letting them love you. The third pillar is systems, routines, and habits that help you walk it out. The practical stuff.
I’m the practical girl. I’m a bit analytical. Give it to me straight. If we met in person, I would struggle with the small talk. That’s why this podcast usually has 3-5 action steps that you can take to help you reach your goal in any of the 8 areas of life.
It really is my heart to help you on your journey. Whether you are a devoted listener to the show, are part of our free facebook group, follow me on Instagram, take our courses, or are a member of Life Balance Membership. I want to help you.
So this episode, I have some questions to answer from our audience. I chose questions that I felt would benefit the most amount of people. And I really hope they help you.
Our first question comes from Katherine:
What is the average timeline for a life overhaul? I've been implementing a number of practices and taking guidance from your show but I sometimes I feel I should have a better grasp on my schedule and life balance by now.
I love this questions because it is so honest. This last week we kicked off our 14-day Rebalance program inside Life Balance Membership. We covered this in Day one because it is so incredibly common.
Really, I have two answers to this.
First, let me say, This is why our number one tip is Jesus. You can do all the things, but at the end of the day, it’s a heart issue. Sometimes we don’t follow through on the things we know we need to do, stick to our schedule. Stick to our intentions, practice the good habits that we know will bring us results. We can self sabotage, or rebel against the systems that we know will help us the most.
I have been there. God had to show me that this was a pride issue and that I didn’t really trust him with every area of my life. I was laying the rocks of life at his feet but tucking a couple away in my back pocket.
For some of the women that I have worked with, it’s a matter of discipline, addicted to business or overwhelm. We can make that our identity. When we try to do the things that fix the overwhelm and busy….we are challenging our identity and can subconsciously sabotage our own efforts. That’s why know the truth about God and who he says you are, is key. That’s why he is number one in all this.
If you are finding it’s not a matter of not doing the things or following through on your intentions, then we need to look at the expectation. What have you told yourself a balanced life would look like? There is a tension between our expectations and reality and it can cause stress, anxiety and make us feel like we are not enough. If your expectation is too high, reality will never be able to measure up. Again, balance is not about perfection. It’s about peace through obedience. Pray and see if there are expectations that you need to let go of. Grace you need to give yourself, or others in your life
Either way, I pray that you see that this is a mountain he can move. It’s an obstacle in the way of where he wants you to be. He is big enough to move it. You have to ask him to. To freely allow him to.
If you find that this rings true to you, pray for him to show you what it’s about. Not about past issues that might have created it in you. I’m not a big believer in looking back and digging stuff up. But ask him to show you if it’s about pride, obedience, discipline, identity. Becuase then you can look up specific scripture, and ask for prayer around that specific issue. I’m all about bringing it into the light.
Know that you are not alone. I take comfort in the fact that we are not all perfect, but we can all be working to be more like Jesus. One of our past guests that I love so much is the perfect example of this. She is real. And teaches real-life strategies to help you with your home. Home is where the heart is, where rest is, where love and growth are.
This guest was originally on all the way back in episode 12. Her episode has been not only one of the most popular ones, but one that people mention to me all the time on how helpful it was to them. So, here is Dana White from A Slob Comes Clean with a tip for you as you work toward balance in your home. (You gotta listen to hear her tip!)
Thank you so much, Dana!
I encourage you to check out her website, book, and resources.
Our next question...you guys I am so excited about it. I could do a whole episode just on this question. Probably a series of episodes on it. It was the first one that came in and I thanked God when I read it. This question came from Emily.
How do you keep balance in your life when your spouse isn’t motivated to do the same? I find that I’m often the one to implement new systems into our lives (cleaning routines, prayer/scripture study routines, etc). My husband is totally supportive but is not always the best at sticking to them. After a few days I notice he isn’t trying very hard to stick to the new system, so I get frustrated and give up. Then we’re back to square one. I’m not really sure what else to do st this point. I have talked to him but due to personality, it’s really hard for him to get how I’m feeling.
I have been there. Before I answer this, let me tell you a story. For 10 years, my husband was a stay at home dad. Now before you start painting a picture in your head of what you think that looked like and how amazing it was, let me tell you the reality. My husband is not me. Thank God!
He is an amazing man. He is great with the kids, loves on me, supports me, loves God, but he is not a house cleaner. He is not a housewife. He doesn’t see the dirt I see. A box of mac and cheese and corn dogs from the freezer is a great dinner in his eyes.
When I first went back to work when my first son was born and we decided he would stay home, I made him chore charts and a schedule for his day. Yes, I did. I don’t know what I was thinking. He said, thank you and put them in a pile on the counter that got buried. So I put it on a big board in the kitchen. It got ignored. Over many “discussions”, I learned that I was not his boss. I could ask if he would do some things and he would but telling him what to do or how we were going to run the house, just wasn’t going to work.
I had to let him be him. When I feel like he isn’t supporting enough, I talk to him about how it impacts me and ask for help. The systems are for you to do. Balance is an inside job. We can’t change other people, but when they start to see the fruit of the change, they are more likely to be inspired to do the same. Every marriage is different, every schedule is different, but I will say that taking personal responsibility overdoing the things you know will bring more balance for yourself, you will find much greater success.
I will say, we ended up getting a housekeeper that came once every two weeks to deep clean the house. There are nights and mornings of the week that my husband is in charge of making sure the kids do what they need to do. I had to let go of how it gets done. It’s his responsibility to get it done. His way.
Give him the grace you would want to be extended to you. You do you and let him do him.
Marriage takes hard work but it is the most important earthly relationship we have. Whenever I need marriage advice that is biblically sound, I turn to Kimberly Walton from Cherishedwives.com. Kimberly has been on the show a few times and is very active in our free Facebook group as well as Life Balance Membership. When dealing with marriage, wise counsel is so important and that’s what you get from Kimberly. Here is a marriage tip she has for you. (You gotta listen to get her tip)
Thank you, Kimberly!
Balance does get a bit more complicated when we introduce other people into the equation. Whether it’s your husband, boss, or your kids. All you can work on is yourself. We can’t do much for the other party.
Speaking of kids, a lot of the stress, expectations, and guilt from being a working mom stems from those little people in our lives. So here is a parenting tip from one of our past guests, parenting expert and family therapist Joy Acaso from Parenting in perspective. (You got to listen to the show to get her tip)
Thanks so much Joy! Joy was originally a guest back on episode 90 where she helped guide us through creating a stress-free morning with our kids. If you haven't listened to that one, I hope you go check it out. She’s also got a great youtube channel full of great parenting tips I think you should check out.
Alright, one more question…...oh, and if you are like, I so wish I could ask a question!!!! Just head on over to Instagram or join our Facebook group. I’ll be giving you opportunities to ask your question this week. What am I say, you can always ask me anything. On Instagram, you can find me at Your.Life.Rocks and you can search for us on Facebook or just go to YourLifeRocks.com and click on the community tab for instant access.
Our last question comes from Tami….
"How do you balance raising a 4-year-old child who requires a great deal of attention with all the other areas of life (as a work at home, homeschooling mom) without putting him in front of the t.v.? "
Let me just say, when I started this podcast I worked at a corporate job, with an office. I would travel a ton but when I was home, I was home. I would daydream about being able to work from home thinking it would make life a lot easier.
Now, after a lot of life changes that I won’t get into here but you can totally hear my story in past episodes, I work from home half the time and an office half the time. I love the flexibility, but it makes balance harder. I find that I am multitasking priorities more than I would like. It took me about 6 months of that working style to realize that it wasn’t working. The structure of my environment and schedule wasn’t serving anyone and I had to make some hard fast rules and decisions to make it better.
I believe you can do all the things, just not all the things at once. Entertaining a 4-year-old and working….really working, does not work. There is a time to be a mom and a time to be a worker. Dividing the time can be hard but it is possible. Here are three things I recommend.
Establish actual work hours and get help with your child during that time. Help doesn’t always have to be daycare. It could be a co-op learning environment where a couple days a week they are learning in a group environment and freeing up your time.
Discipline yourself to be extremely focused to get as much work done during your work time as possible. Sometimes we can fill our time with meaningless tasks to fill the time time. You can’t afford that. Use the Pomodoro method ( 20 minutes on a project...no interruptions) or whatever works for you.
Make sure you are taking care of the other areas of your life. When you are working from home, you often find the small little pockets of time to get work in. Late at night when the kids are asleep, early in the morning when the kids are still asleep…..but when are you working on your marriage, your health, taking time for God? We can’t ignore those other areas of life or we will never find balance.
Good luck momma! And enjoy that age! 4 was one of my favorite ages of my kiddos. So much fun!
Speaking of making the moments count, our next guest is a good friend and she always reminds me to be intentional about making memories and really experiencing life. And I need it! I can easily get consumed with the to-do list and forget that time is ticking. From the Mom Inspired Show and the creator of the Dream Achiever Vacation Planning tool, here is Amber Sandberg with a tip for you about fun! (Check out the show to hear her tip)
I am so grateful for Amber and all our experts for sharing their tips with us over the past 100 episodes. I am also so grateful for you. For listening to the show, leaving us a review, and sharing it with your friends. Together we are challenging what it means to be a working mom.
I also want to thank our members of Life Balance Membership for supporting the show and for taking action toward to creating more balance in their lives. Inside life balance membership we have a library of online courses to help you create the systems in your life. Plus a ton of videos, checklists, worksheets, articles, and more to help you grow in all areas of your life. If you would like to support the show and take that next step in living this all out, you can start your free trial by going to LifeBalance Membership.com
Alright, at the top of the show I said I had an announcement. Ready? I’m still in awe that we have done 100 episodes. Thank you, God, for carrying us through! I couldn’t be more excited about the future and what we have planned for you! The Your Life Rocks show is growing! There will now be 2 podcasts for you each week. On Tuesday will get to learn from one of our guests on how you can grow in all areas of your life with bonus content for each episode added exclusively to Life Balance Membership.
Then, on Thursday, you will get a second episode with just me! I’m going to try to keep the second episode to less than 20 minutes. You’ll get real-life solutions for working moms, encouragement for your faith and a few surprises.
All the more reason to hit subscribe so you don’t miss anything coming up! We start this week and will be chatting about prayer and work.
Don’t forget to join us over on Instagram for some fun giveaways this week…. Your.life.rocks
Next week we have our favorite marriage expert, Kimberly Walton with us talking about how to protect your marriage. You guys, it’s so good and I can't wait to share it with you!