Episode 149: Becoming a Better Communicator

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Do you ever wish you could get your point across better? Communication is something that touches every part of our life and is something so vital to successful living. In this episode, we learn from our guest, Dr. Janet Birkey on the fundamentals of being a better communicator.

About our guest

Dr. Janet Birkey is a professional clinical counselor who is licensed in both New Mexico and Texas, and is also a coach. Additionally, Janet is a full time professor where she teaches communication courses. Janet and her husband, John, have been married more than 34 years, are the parents to two married children and a German Shepherd who lacks both manners and boundaries.

Action Items From the Show

  1. Make a list of the 5 people that you want better communication with

  2. Be intentional about observing them and seeing what they need.

  3. Serve them.

Tips shared on the show

1. Anyone can learn to communicate well.

2. Decide what kind of a relationship you want.

   a. Are you willing to invest in the relationship

3. Don’t just listen, be a willing, interested, engaged listener.

4. Learn to recognize and accept bids from others.

    a. John Gottman: The Love Lab (no, this is not x-rated, lol)

5. Learn from the masters...or at least people who you like their communication style!

6. Figure out the best time to communicate with others.

    a. Use “I” messages

    b. Don’t ask, “Why?”

    c. Make sure they are not hangry (hungry/angry) or tired.

7. Learn the personality of the person you are communicating with.

    a. Lots of personality inventories

    b. Lots of things you can read to recognize personalities

8. Learn to express your own wants, needs, and desires in the relationship without nagging, being passive aggressive, being harsh.

9. Understand that all behavior has a reason behind it.

    a. Whatever your communication style, there is a reason.

10. Understand that communication is can be hard and it does take work.

    a. Where did we get the idea that just because we like/love someone, it’s going to be easy?

    b. Gottman: 68% of all relationship issues are unsolvable.

Learn more about our guest

 

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