Episode 91: {Faith} Giving Up Control To Find Peace As A Working Mom

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This is episode 91  and today we are diving into your faith.

If you are new to this show, welcome!  This podcast is all about equipping you to live the life God has called you to live.  We talk a lot about creating more balance in our lives.  Life balance can really be defined how ever you want….as long as it is something that is possible.  For us around here at your life Rocks, we define it by setting and moving toward goals in all areas of life.  We consider those areas your life rocks.

We are sponsored today by Life Balance Membership, the place the equips you with the systems and tools to create more balance in your life.  It is specifically designed for working Christian moms and I have built a course around the system that I used to bring my life into balance and still use to maintain that in my life.  If you are looking for a planning system, including planner, and tools to help you reach your goals in your faith, marriage, parenting, career, health, home, finances, and friends/fun….this is for you.  We just added a new resource this last week to help you reach your health goals and will be adding a few more video tutorials this next week to help with organization.  Start your free 7-day trial by going to life balance membership.com

Earlier I talked about all your life rocks.  They all can grow strong when built on the foundation of your faith.  I’m excited to explore this with you today.  

Truth talk?  So often we have one or two areas of life that stress us out.  They make us feel really out of balance and bring on the guilt a little more than others.  If you have listened to prior episodes, then you have heard me talk about this before.  This is why the system of Life Balance is so important.  But it’s not always just about following the system.  

Actions don’t always bring results.  It helps, but it isn’t the answer to everything.  Nope, sometimes it is a heart issue.  The unrest can be a way to get our attention, like the spirit working on us.  

This is why I refuse to say that life balance is not possible.  Does it take work, yes.  But to say that it’s not possible.  That the struggle, guilt, and overwhelm we feel is just life…...this idea keeps us from listening to the urging of the spirit that calls loud to us.  When we buy into this, we are burying our head in the sand and ignoring what is right in front of us.  

Like my 8 year old that puts his hands over his ears to avoid hearing something he just doesn’t want to hear.

But what if you choose to hear it?  What if you explored the calling of the spirit that something is just not right?

In this episode, we are going to walk through this in an effort to find peace and bring you closer to balance.

Balance is obedience.  

Often when we think about being obedient, we think about following rules.  I am not a rule follower.  I am a rebel.  What we are talking about in this episode is stuff I have had to walk out and learn myself.  And I can tell you, I have been a hard headed learner.

Just like the Israelites, walking in circles in the desert….guided by God.  

And you know what?  You and I are not that different from each other.  You know how I know?  Becuase I get a ton of emails from listeners that feel the sting of living a life of unbalance.  I hear it when I talk to my coaching clients, from members of Life Balance and from my friends.

We can all be stubborn to learn how to find peace…..even though the answer is right in front of us.

So, what is it?

Simple.  The number one principle of creating balance….Jesus.  When you give your life, your whole life to Jesus…..peace wipes out the overwhelm.  Your chaos makes sense and stress becomes Joy.

Giving your whole life to God is not the same as accepting Jesus into your life.  We are not talking about your salvation.  We are talking about this life.

Now, as we get into the meat of this conversation.  Let me pray for you.  I pray that God opens your heart to this topic.  Jesus, show us the areas of our life that you want from us.  I pray that the woman listening to this right now takes that step of faith to follow your lead and trusts your gentleness.  And let’s go.

What am I praying you let go of?  Your wishes, desires, and expectations for your life.  You know that tight grip you have.  The desire to do things your way, in your timing, regardless of what the spirit is telling you.

Truth is, we hang on to our own ideals and have convinced ourselves that it is ok.  If our expectations are not met, we get upset or get spiteful, and can get angry or sad or anxious.

So, what are you holding onto?

Maybe it’s your faith.  Maybe you are striving to be perfect in your religion forgetting that Jesus just wants a relationship with you.  He wants you to get to know him, depend on him, trust him. And most importantly, come as you are.  Not how you think you should be.  Just as you are.  Messed up, not perfect, just you.

What about your marriage?  This was a hard one for me.  As we go through these, I’ll tell you that there were a lot of hard ones for me.

You see, I had expectations of what a husband of mine would act like.  How he would treat me, who he would be as a father.  How he should lead the family spiritually.  My control over our relationship (in a very passive aggressive way) was destroying our marriage.  Because it was destroying my husband.  When things got tense between the two of us, I would start to point fingers….especially how I would pray.  I would ask for God to intervene and fix him.  Yes, fix him.

I was blind to looking at what I could do.  How God has called me to be as a wife.  And blind to what I was doing to my Husband’s heart.  Do you need to let go of standards in your marriage?  Do you need to forgive?  Forgive your husband, forgive yourself, forgive God?

As I go through these, there is no action step for you to take.  Usually, I like to provide you some solid action steps each episode.  This time, I just invite you to pray.  When something stirs inside of you, examine it.  Pray some more and if you need to, let go.

Ok, let’s talk about parenting.  Another hard one for me.  This is the one that I struggle with the most right now.  Knowing that my kids belong to God not me.  I have been entrusted with raising them.  Guiding them, teaching them.  But I can’t stand between them and God.  They are his.  Just like if I was watching a friend’s kid, I would follow her rules.  Candy isn’t allowed?  Then no candy.  God has given us instruction on raising kids and he has provided an example to us as a heavenly father.  We need to follow that instruction.  

I can’t save my kids from all the hurt and sadness.  I can’t be responsible for their joy.  That is God’s job.  He is their savior, not me.  It’s hard, but we have to let them go.

These are not easy.  I know, it is really not.  But when we hold these things and hide them from God, we can’t find peace.  Yes, I said hide.  There are things that we don’t pray for.  Don’t bring up to God.  I am guilty of this because what if I don’t like how God answers the prayer.

This has especially been true in my career.  I have been guilty of holding my career close to my chest.  Giving God just a little part of it while keeping the steering wheel firmly in my hands.  You know the Carrie Underwood song, Jesus take the wheel?

Yea, this has been me and asking Jesus to just be the navigator.  There for me to ask where the next gas station is.  Only need your input when I ask, thank you very much.  

Now, can we still have success without giving things to God?  Yes.  But we will have unrest.  Always feeling like something is not right.  For me and my career, it was never enough.  I always felt like I needed more.  So I would work more, try harder, accomplish more.  All while I could have just handed the wheel over to him and been satisfied.

This next one is what my old pastor would call a throat punch.  And I apologize up front because I know it hurts.  In fact, you might even decide to turn away, turn off the podcast.  I really hope you don’t.  I pray you don’t.  I pray that the spirit makes you strong.

Because we are talking about your home.  The pendulum swings wide on this one and can easily get stuck on one side or the other.  Lazy or hyper.  Lazy meaning you allow all kinds of tv shows and movies in the house.  Lazy like not keeping your house in a functioning way.  Regardless of your working situation, women are natural homemakers.  I'm not saying that you have to do it all.  In fact, I am a huge advocate of hiring out for things.  Hire someone to clean, order meals, hire an organizer.  But whether it is you or someone you hire, it is our responsibilities and our family is counting on us.  

As for this house, we serve the Lord

I say that as the transitionary statement between the two...Lazy and hyper.  Is your house serving the Lord?  Or are you more like Martha?  Concerned with making the perfect meal and keeping the perfect house that you are missing Jesus in your presence?  Are you sitting at his feet or working hard in the kitchen?  See how the pendulum swings?  

We could go deeper with your health, finances, friends…..but I think you get the idea.

When we are living life by our ideals and not by God’s, we will always feel the spirit pulling at us.  Trying to get our attention.  It might feel like guilt, shame, anxiousness, anger, or sadness.  The important thing is to examine it when it comes up.

Try this exercise.

Find some quiet time for prayer.  Ask God to guide you and show you what he wants you to see.  Visualize the cross.  Visualize a bunch of rocks and on each rock is an area of your life.  Visualize yourself laying the rock down at the cross and giving it to God.  Completely let go of the rock.  Ask God if you should pick it back up.  If you do, how should you carry it?  When life gets’s crazy and overwhelming, do this.

You might only get through one or two rocks at a time.  You might leave some rocks there for awhile.  Pray a lot to see how you might be holding onto it, or even hiding parts of it.

A hard one for me that I was hiding for a long time was my friends and fun.  I had a lot of friends that were not living a Christian lifestyle.  I let them influence me.  I told myself that I was hoping to influence them, but what we did for fun…..it was obvious who was really influencing who.  But, I enjoyed being with them.  I didn’t want to give that part of my life over to God.  I was terrified that he would say to walk away from them.  But when I did let my grip go, incredible peace took over my life.  My desires changed and I wanted to hang around my Christian friends.  I wanted to go to coffee and pray for people instead of going for a drink and talking about people.  God changed my heart.

Ready to go deeper?  Ready to create balance?

Start your free 7-day trial of Life Balance membership.

Not only will you have full access to our 90-day Planning Course, Life Balance Course, Rebalance (our 14-day audio course for when things get crazy and you need to come back to center), but you also have access to tools to help you grown in all 8 areas of life, and incredible community and a lot of bonuses.  For example, did you catch last week’s episode?  Our guest Joy Acaso, a parenting strategist, came on the show to help us with back to school morning routines.  She is offering special discounts for our members.  So cool right?

All that to say, we would love to have you join us as we are making life balance a movement and a possibility for working moms everywhere.