Episode 157: Real Life Home Declutter

your life rocks a slob comes clean

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Since we are in a series all about home management, we kind of need to talk about de-cluttering, right? I mean, it is the first step in managing the cleanliness, and organization of your home. So we are going back into the archives and bringing this interview with Dana White from a Slob Comes Clean back. This was originally episode 13 and chances are, you have not heard it yet. It is full of grace, and practical tips that will help you take control of the clutter in your home. Enjoy!

About Our Guest

A Slob Comes Clean is the completely honest (and never-ending) story of Dana White’s personal “deslobification” process. As she find ways to keep her home under control, she shares the truth about cleaning and organizing strategies that actually work in real life for real people. People who don’t love cleaning and organizing.

Dana K. White. is a blogger, speaker, and (much to her own surprise) Decluttering Expert. She’s also the author of How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind.

Tips Shared on the show

3 Awesome Tips from the episode (there are a lot more tips in the episode... a must listen!)

  1. Start your decluttering in the spaces you see everyday... not spaces that are hidden away like a closet.

  2. Don't think about it as organizing... your just taking things away that you don't need or want.

  3. How to tackle the "piles of paper" in your home. Just go through looking for garbage. What is left will be much more manageable.

Learn More about our guest

Dana White of ‘A Slob Comes Clean’.

Website: https://www.aslobcomesclean.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ASlobComesClean

Book: How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind (available wherever books are sold).

Youtube: YouTube channel here. 

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Episode 156: Running Your Home like a Boss

running your home like a boss

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Okay, we have to address something right off the bat.  I know I sound different. I have a cold. Now, most Podcasters have their episodes so far out in advance that they don’t have to record when they have a cold… and usually, that is the case for me as well.  But ya know, sometimes we fall behind. I am coming off a super full season of life that required a lot of working hours at my day job and I am just catching up. I know you can relate to that, so please give me some grace with my voice this week and pray that it gets better fast.

Now, let me tell you why I am so excited.  This is not something that I tell everyone because it’s the kind of thing that will make people sum you up and judge you really fast.  So please, don’t judge… I love to clean. I love to sort through stuff, organize things, get into deep cleaning, and getting rid of things brings me a world of joy.  Its my stress relief.

If I could have another career (like I need one) I would be a professional organizer. I totally would.

Now, I almost didn’t tell you this because I didn’t want you to be like, “Um well it’s easy for you… you like it!”

Like it or not, it takes time to do and if you don’t have a solid strategy and if you are not intentional about creating the home you desire, it just won’t happen.

Steps to prep for a cleaner home:

Step one:  Get clear about your intention.  What kind of home do you want to have?  What is important to you? What does “clean” mean to you?  If you need help gaining this clarity, I recommend that taking the Weekly Success Planning Course.  In the first lesson, I’ll walk you through an exercise that will help. Remember, it needs to be what you and your family want, not what someone else wants or what people tell you it should be.

Step two:  Think of the current situation of your home compared to your intention.  Then, make a brain dump list of everything that would need to be done to get your home to where you want it to be.  

Step three:  Go through your list and decide how often the task needs to be done.  Annually, quarterly, monthly, biweekly, weekly, or daily.

Step four:  Go through and assign the tasks.  Who will do what in your family? What tasks will you hire out for?

Tips:

  • Don’t make it such a big deal.  If you view it as chores or a big project to organize your home, it’s going to feel big and hard.  So, think about it as if it’s just another thing.

  • Do you and serve your family.  Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing, focus on what works for you.

  • Get buy-in from your family.  Share your vision of what you want to create with them and why it’s important to you.  It will help to get their buy-in with the tasks that they will need to take on.

  • Find ways to make it fun!

Life balance at your fingertips? Yes, we got it right here on our official Your Life Rocks life balance app! Download free now.

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Episode 155: How to Combat Stress with Nutrition with Autumn Beam

iamautumnbeam at your life rocks

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Stress can take its toll on our bodies. Did you know that this can be exasperated by the choices we make with our sleep, physical movement, emotions, and what we eat? Stress is going to come into our lives regardless of what we do, so why not learn the tips and tricks to set us up for success to combat it? Our guest and Functional Medical Expert, Autumn Beam, is here to share real-life tips that you can use to thrive in your everyday life, combat the effects of stress, and prevent long-term disease.

About our guest

Autumn Beam is the founder of Hope Wellness a national clinical nutrition and functional wellness company based in Los Angeles, CA. After her own personal battle spanning two decades with the western healthcare system, Autumn made it her mission to find answers for herself and for others in the same situation. In this journey, she discovered functional medicine, which investigates the root cause of chronic illnesses, metabolic imbalances and nutritional deficiencies to get the client back to an optimal state of wellness in the most natural way possible. She is finishing up her Graduate degree in Human Nutrition with an emphasis in

Functional Medicine and her certification in Applied Clinical Nutrition from the Southern California University of Health Sciences. Passionate about sharing her story and her message, she is an engaging speaker who has been featured as a special guest on many nationally broadcast shows.

Tips shared from the show

4 Categories that greatly affects our stress levels:

  1. Lack of Sleep - how it affects our bodies beyond just feeling tired. Here we delve further on how as seemingly simple as lack of sleep is, it actually has a great impact on our overall health.

  2. Exercise - it should not be like a second full time job. Here, we learn more about the practical side of how you can effortlessly add it to your daily routine.

  3. Mental/Emotional Stress - how to re-frame your thoughts to become more productive and how the fight or flight mechanism actually protects us.

  4. Nutrition- why stress affects everything from what we crave to our digestive system.

What else you can learn:

  • Fertility Issues - its root cause.

  • Fight or Flight Reaction.

  • What to eat when you’re craving sugar.

  • Vitamins needed for optimum activity.

  • …and a whole lot more!

Action Items from the show

  1. Be intentional about what you eat (whole grains, real food)

  2. Be intentional about when you eat (breakfast, lunch….away from your desk)

  3. Keep an open mind knowing that influences your stress and make a plan to reduce your chances for disease.

Get an amazing $25 off deal from Autumn’s program exclusively for Your Life Rocks’s listeners! Contact Autumn and let her know you heard her on the show!

learn more about our guest

Name: Autumn Beam
Occupation: Clinical Nutritionist
Email: Autumn@hopewellnessla.com
Website: www.hopewellnessla.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/hopewellnessla
Instagram: @iamautumnbeam

Life balance at your fingertips? Yes, we got it right here on our official Your Life Rocks life balance app! Download free now.

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Episode 154: Working through Stress in Relationships

your life rocks stress in relationships

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Stress and relationships seem to go hand in hand, and it doesn't always have the best outcomes. But what if it could? This is part two of a two-part series with Dr. Mariam Coaster and in this episode, she is sharing practical tips for all of us working moms on how we can show up as our best selves, and restore relationships in spite of the stress around them.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Mariam Coaster Ph.D., LMFT (InRelationship.us; mariamcoaster.com) is a wife to a wonderful husband, and mother to two beautiful children, a two-year-old boy, and a 3-month-old girl. Professionally, she has a doctorate in neuroscience and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She primarily works with couples and women at her private practice in Franklin, TN. She is passionate about helping people grow towards healing and restoration in their closest relationships. She is also the co-founder of InRelationship, and a marriage workshop called 7 Conversations to Enrich your Marriage. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family, cooking up a new-found recipe, and being actively involved in her church.

TIPS SHARED ON THE SHOW

Working through stressors in relationships We navigate stress in relationships through ownership and re-connection. This results in greater emotional health, holiness and healing in relationships.

Own your part: taking ownership for your part in the stress by spending time in self-reflection and prayer

1) Choosing to step away from the distressing relationship to gather yourself.

2) During self-reflection, pray for humility, wisdom and connection with God and yourself.

3) Use the stress indicators (feelings, thoughts and body sensations) to slow down and access heart issues:

a. What is really bothering me about this relationship?

b. What am I choosing to rely on or hope in more than God? What heart issues or ruling desires can I let go of?

c. How can the Gospel reorient my perspective to accept Christ’s perfect, sufficient grace, and therefore extend mercy, grace and love in the relationship?

ACTION ITEMS

Initiate Re-connection

1) Pray for wisdom on how to approach the relationship – ask for an opportune time to share your heart.

2) Share how your stress indicators (feelings, thoughts, and body sensations) showed up for you in the relationship.

3) Share heart issues or desires that became inordinately important during the stress. Share about your own repentance and how God gave you perspective in the situation.

4) Ask for what you may need to restore connection with that person, and talk about how to work through such a stressor together in the future.

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR GUEST

Mariam Coaster
Occupation:
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Email:
mariam@mariamcoaster.com
Website
inrelationship.usmariamcoaster.com
Social Media Links
inrelationship.us

Life balance at your fingertips? Yes, we got it right here on our official Your Life Rocks life balance app! Download free now.

your life rocks app

Episode 153: How to Deal when Stress is a Heart Issue

your life rocks episode 153

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Stress is a part of our lives, but there is a healthy way to deal with it. Today my guest is a fellow working mom, Dr. Mariam Coaster and we are talking all about our internal relationship with stress and how our relationship with God plays into it. Join us, as Mariam shares practical tips on how we can self-assess our stress and give you strategies to show up as your best self when we find ourselves at our worst. This is part one of a two-part series. Join us next week as we move the conversation to discuss stress and our relationships.

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Mariam Coaster Ph.D., LMFT (InRelationship.us; mariamcoaster.com) is a wife to a wonderful husband, and mother to two beautiful children, a two-year-old boy, and a 3-month-old girl. Professionally, she has a doctorate in neuroscience and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She primarily works with couples and women at her private practice in Franklin, TN. She is passionate about helping people grow towards healing and restoration in their closest relationships. She is also the co-founder of InRelationship, and a marriage workshop called 7 Conversations to Enrich your Marriage. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family, cooking up a new-found recipe, and being actively involved in her church.

TIPS SHARED ON THE SHOW

Stress is a God-given opportunity to grow in humility, wisdom, and connection.

  • Humility because we recognize that we are not ultimately in control of our lives.

  • Wisdom because we can receive greater perspective and insight about our relationships.

  • Connection because God never intended for us to go through this life on our own.

Identifying stress in ourselves and our relationships. There are three internal stress indicators that God created in everyone:

1) Feelings: what emotions are coming up about God, ourselves, and others in this stressful situation?

2) Thoughts: what beliefs and cognition are coming up about God, ourselves and others regarding this stressful situation?

3) Body sensations – where in your body do you notice the stress? [Our brain processes stress by initiating the fight, flight or freeze mechanism. It also initiates us to seek out connection during stressful times.]

The internal stress indicators help access heart issues.

A heart issue is a desire to rely on or trust in anything more than God himself. Examples include a pride, self-righteousness, self-reliance, desperate need for approval, control, power, false identity, etc. Even good desires, when they become ruling or dominating desires, will become a stressor in relationships.

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR GUEST

Mariam Coaster
Occupation:
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Email:
mariam@mariamcoaster.com
Website
inrelationship.usmariamcoaster.com
Social Media Links
inrelationship.us

Life balance at your fingertips? Yes, we got it right here on our official Your Life Rocks life balance app! Download free now.

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Episode 152: Proactively Influence the Stress in your Life

Your life rocks influence stress

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Hey guys! I am so glad you are here. We are going into Fall and I could not be more excited. Don’t get me wrong I love summer, but Fall is my favorite time of the year. It’s like second new year's eve, kind of… like a fresh start. Summer is a little bit of a slower, more casual pace where Fall… well, things just get busier. And with busyness comes with stress. Well, we can’t avoid stress, it is ever present in our busy lives, but there are times that seem to be more stressful.

So, as always, I have got your back. We are kicking off a series all about stress and I could not be more excited to bring it to you. Over the course of the next few weeks, we will be talking about stress from a mental, spiritual, relational and physical perspective. We have some really incredible guests lined up for you to learn from so if you have not done so already, make sure you hit subscribe so you don’t miss it.

Now if you are listening inside of the Life Balance app, you don’t have to do anything. The new episodes will just roll right in for you. Do you have the Your Life Rocks app yet? You should go download it today if not. Not only will you find all the podcasts in there, but you will have access to the Weekly Success Planning tool that will show you step by step how to uplevel your prep day to have a more balanced week, plus the weekly planning Checklist. All for free. Now, if you're ready to really define balance for yourself and create it in your life, then you can upgrade inside the app to Life Balance Membership where you will have access to all the courses, monthly group coaching, and more tools to help you shine and stay focused. It’s in both iTunes and Google play store so I hope you check it out.

Like I said before, we are kicking off a series all about stress and we are starting today. Now there are many things that can influence our wellbeing. Things that influence peace and harmony in our lives and things that influence stress and conflict. And the amazing thing is, these things influence everything, every area of life. In preparing for this episode to talk to you all about stress, I was originally going to give you 3 tips to help you alleviate stress in your surroundings. But, because God is so awesome, he really used this last week to teach me a thing or two about stress. You see, I always pray about the show. I always ask for God to lead the conversation and when I had the idea to do a series on stress, well I should have seen the stress coming, right? Well in the process of living through one of the most stressful months of my life, and interviewing experts on the topic, praying about it daily and really searching God in every situation, I had a realization. The tactic that I used to affect change in my career was the same tactic that I needed to use for my life.

I mentioned influence before and I learned this tactic of influence and affecting change through one of my all-time favorite business books. It’s called The Influencer. I’ll link to it in the show notes if you want to grab it. In the book, they talk about the 6 sources of influence that you need to focus on when you want to influence change. It’s essentially your ability and motivation that presents itself personally, socially, and structurally. For today’s episode, we are going to go through these to proactively deal with stress. Cause like it or not stress is a part of our lives, especially as working moms. It’s coming and we need to be ready for it.

Let’s first look at ourselves personally. For this category, I’m not going to talk about the personal ability to deal with stress because our stress resilience is so different from one person to the next. And honestly, next week’s episode deals with that topic so greatly. But I do want to talk for just a moment about personal motivation. Are you motivated to live a more peaceful life or do you like being stressed? Does your stress level tie into your identity? Does it make you feel important or worthy? We have talked about this before in previous episodes, but we called it “busy”. You see, some of us are seeking peace and balance in our lives, but somewhere along the line being a mess is serving us in some way. It might be keeping you feeling safe, from showing up and being the bright light you were created to be. It might be so that others expect less out of you if you are giving off the impression of stress and busy. Or it could just be that it makes you feel important. Maybe you had a role model in the past that demonstrated being stressed all the time and it just kind of stuck as a model to emulate. If this is you, and you are seeking peace, you won't find it unless your motivation for peace is greater than your motivation for stress.

It reminds me of one of my favorite stories of the Bible, from John 5. It’s the one with the man at the spring laying there for years and not doing the things that he believed would make him well. He didn’t get in the springs, there was always an excuse on why he couldn’t. But he was close enough to it to make it look like he was making an effort. Jesus saw right to his heart and asked, “Do you want to get well?”

Sometimes we need to ask ourselves that same question and be really honest with the answer.

Moving on to social influence and impact on stress. Let’s look at the ability and motivation.
Let’s start with motivation because it is so closely connected to what we were just talking about. Have you ever found yourself in a one-up misery party? You know, where you are like, “I am so tired, I woke up at 4 am this morning” and your co-worker is like “Lucky you, I was up with the baby at 3.” and then someone else says “You got up at 3? I didn’t get to bed till 3 And had to wake up at 5.” You get the idea. Sometimes we find ourselves in social circles that are conversations where the cool kids seem the most miserable. Um, why are we racing to the bottom? What’s in that for the winner? That’s not a game I want to play and I hope you don’t either. Be motivated by talking with and being around people that take care of their emotional, and mental well being. Choose the friends that choose joy. Not stress.

On the other side, it is so good to have a solid social network that you can express when you genuinely need help. Whether it’s just prayer or someone to take your kids for a couple of hours so you can decompress or even just to vent to when you need to verbally vomit.

I will admit it. I am a verbal processor. I need to speak things in order to work them out. This last month coming off with so much stress, I had to get my best friend a gift. She had to listen to me vent multiple times a day, every day. I listen for her when she needs it. God bless my poor husband who had to pick up more than his fair share of the slack around the house, held me when I cried from exhaustion, and listened to me when I was angry. We need these people. You need these people. Remember, I said that this was to help you be more proactive? Drops in the Bucket (another good career book by the way). When you are not overwhelmed by stress, seek out others around you that you can care for. These relationships are not just about what we get from them, but what we give to them. So when you don’t need to take, give wildly.

Ok, now we are on to the structure. If you have listened for some time at all, you know I love structure. And this is such a strong piece to everything. I think we overestimate how our environment and the things outside of us can influence the inside of us. This is a huge part of the weekly success planning course. Do you want to read your bible in the morning? Where is your bible? Not in a place you can find it in the morning without waking people up? Guess who is going to have a hard time building that habit? Yep, you. Now put your Bible proactively by the coffee maker? You have built a structure of success. Now you will remember (that’s your ability) and you will be motivated. I mean how nice does it sound to sit down with your hot cup of coffee and read the word of God? Pretty good.

So how does this relate to stress? Well, ask yourself this one question. What about your environment stresses you out? It might be a mess, it might be seeing too many things and that overwhelms you. It could be color, yes, too many bright colors can stress out some people. It might be darkness it could be brightness. It’s a very personal thing. I think the most common is a messy environment. I think because it plays into the things we know we need to do and are not doing them, or guilt or whatever.

Once you have figured out what in your physical space stresses you out, do the opposite and set up systems so that you can keep that one thing taken care of. Again, it’s about being proactive.

Let me give you an example. For me, it’s a clean floor. When the floor is dirty, it contributes to my stress. I like a clean floor. It sounds weird, but when the floor is clean I think I can deal with more things coming my way. When the floor is dirty, when things get stressful, I have to clean the floor. I just have to. So, I have systems in place to keep the floor clean. Picking up the floor is part of my nightly routine and the floor gets vacuumed multiple times a week to keep it clean.

Another example, I once had a boss that could not handle a messy desk. He was really great at his job when he was anywhere else, except his office. His desk was always a mess. People would come in and lay things on his desk that needed his attention. It wasn’t good. One time in a one on one, he was commenting on his desk and how it stressed him out. All I said is “Maybe you should tell them not to do that and come up with another system.” It was a light bulb moment. Right away, he made the change, came up with a different system, and his stress level went way down.

Like I said before, stress is going to come. Like it or not. But we can choose to do something proactively to help us cope. I am so excited for next week’s episode as we dive further into the topic of stress. Catch it inside the Your Life Rocks Life Balance app.

If you found value in this week’s episode, would you do me a favor and share it with someone? Take a screenshot and share it on social media or even just mention the show or the app to a friend. It means the world to me and helps spread the message that it’s time to redefine what balance is and acknowledge that it is possible because all things are possible through Christ Jesus.

I’ll catch you next week and until then, keep building a life that rocks.

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Episode 151: Communication in the Workplace

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Effective communication in the workplace will help you grow in your career and be the leader you aim to be. In this episode with Dr. Claire Carver Dais, learn three things you can do right now to help you show up authentically you, just as God intended.

About Our Guest

Claire’s professional life has straddled the worlds of sport, business and academia. A PhD specializing in English and Communications, Claire has also won medals in synchronized swimming at the Olympic, Pan American, World Championship and Commonwealth Games. In 2003, she launched Clearday, her own communications and management consultancy, combining her appreciation of effective business coaching techniques, and keen understanding of teaming, goal-setting, performance management, and communications, to help corporate leaders achieve their full potential. Her corporate clients include KPMG Global, KPMG US, Johnson Controls, University of Toronto, Noble, University of Saskatchewan, and Royal Bank of Canada.

Action items From the show

  • Authenticity: Say what you mean and do what you say

  • Integrity and trust-building

  • Stellar first impressions

  • Avoiding the rumor mill

  • Curiosity

  • Powerful questions and active listening

  • Creating a culture of feedback

tips shared on the show

1.  Authenticity: Say what you mean and do what you say

  • Integrity and trust-building

  • Stellar first impressions

  • Avoiding the rumor mill

2.  Curiosity :  Powerful questions and active listening

  • Creating a culture of feedback

3.  Posture: Taking on a posture of openness, both figuratively and literally, a correlation between posture and confidence.

  • Maintain open communication, even when it’s hard.

  • Great teams talk.

 

Limited time free offer!

In addition to communications coaching, over the years I’ve offered presentation skills development coaching for clients, corporate executives, Olympians and Paralympians, through their companies and sport organizations. Many people have asked how they can get access to the same training, so I’ve developed a membership site called AMPLIFY, for individuals who want to boost their public speaking skills. That website should be up soon… but in the meantime, listeners can sign up for the free public speaking webinar I’ll be delivering on Sept 27th at 1 pm EST. Sign up at www.amplifycommunity.ca. The page and sign up link for the free webinar goes live by Monday, Aug 27th, so it will be ready by the time the podcast airs.

Learn more about our guest

Occupation: Communications Coach
Email: Claire@clearday.ca
Website: www.clearday.ca
Social Media Links: @ClaireCarverD

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Episode 150: Communication in Marriage

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Your marriage is the most important relationship you have on this earth and with communication being such a huge part of what makes relationships work, well, we needed to discuss this. It's easy as a working mom to not make time to connect with our husbands most likely from being too busy and having his presence taken for granted. In this episode, you'll learn 3 ways on how you can become a better communicator with your spouse.

About Our Guest

Mary Whitman Ortiz, author of "Why Can’t I Talk to Him/Her about Sex?" loves to inspire her audiences to create a true connection in their marriage. She is a certified life coach and trained facilitator with Prepare-Enrich, Adventures in Marriage, and Marriage Mentors. She's worked with women recovering from sexual intimacy issues such as human trafficking, sexual abuse, abortion, spousal pornography usage, and distorted cultural messages. For over 20 years she's facilitated self-awareness and relationship development for corporate, church, and community groups. Mary draws from her B.S. and M.A. in Gifted Education to create interactive and presentations with impact. She founded Limitless Intimacy, a movement to support a healthy and Godly view of love, sex, and intimacy.

Action items from the show

Use this Communication Tool as follows:
1. Agree upon a mutually convenient time and location to share.
2. Pick a setting free from distractions.
3. Express ideas in a neutral tone (ex. not while irritated or angry).
4. Let one person do all the speaking, while the other listens only.
5. Switch roles and let the other person do all the speaking.
6. Answer questions or follow-up on issues AFTER completed.
7. Use DTR to gain understanding and build connection.

  • Appreciations

"I like how you are helping me more with the dishes."

  • New Information

"I have a meeting this week with a new client."

  • Puzzles

"I’m puzzled why the toothpaste cap is rarely on the tube."

  • Concerns with request for change

"I’ve noticed that you interrupt me when I’m talking and I’d rather you wait until I’m done."

  • Apologies

"I’m sorry that I pressured you about buying another house."

  • Wishes, Hopes and Dreams

"I have always wanted to go to Europe and visit a real castle."

  • Prayer

"Would you pray with me about this issue I have going on at work?"

Tips shared on the show

How to Improve communication in your marriage

1. Know what you want to talk about.

  • Separate the issues from the hurt and confusion

  • Focus on your role in the situation

  • Release offenses, disappointment, grief

(Be responsible for you. Step into your God-given confidence. Reframe your identity by His word.)

2. Create the best setting possible.

  • Find (ask for) a time that is mutually agreed upon

  • Choose the least amount of distractions

  • Enter the conversation with peaceful outlook

(When God is your ultimate source, the goal of every interaction is to increase understanding.)

3. Practice a daily/weekly check-in.

  • Understand different levels of communication (facts, opinions, needs, dreams)

  • Access vulnerability for deepest connection

  • Share praise, requests for change, apologies, prayer

(You are either growing closeness or distance with every step you take.)

Learn More About Our Guest

Website
http://www.marywhitmanortiz.com
Social Media Links
https://www.facebook.com/MaryWhitmanOrtiz/
https://www.instagram.com/marywhitmanortiz/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-whitman-ortiz-ma-clc-b8943034/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/sexandintimacyforthechristianwoman/
Couples' Communication Kit: bit.ly/2KwnKMa

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