I am sure that you have heard that you are the sum of the 5 people that you spend the most amount of time with. They say to choose wisely.
I have been thinking a lot about this over the last few days. It made me reflect on the people in my life that I spend the most amount of time with and if I was satisfied being the sum of them. Some of them yes, and honestly, some not so much. But do I really have a choice to whom I spend the most amount of time with? I think that the choice might be something different and there are some big life lessons that I learned in this and I want to break it down for you here.
I believe that what you focus on you find. Every person (yes, every person) has greatness in them. It just depends on if you focus on it or their flaws. Find the attributes you admire in the people around you and focus only on those.
I also believe that what you focus on grows. Have you ever thought about getting a particular type of car and then you start to see it everywhere? When you start to identify the greatness in others and focus on that, you will see more of it in that person and possibly in others. You will likely find it within yourself as well.
So if you can find greatness in everyone and when you focus on that greatness it becomes more visible to you, the same can be said about the not so great parts of people. Look, we live in a broken world. Everyone of us has not so great parts to us. What parts of you do you want people to find in you? The greatness or the ugly stuff? Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. Choose what you see and you choose what you become. We are not called to cast out people. We are called to love them.
So here is a challenge for you. Ready?
- Make a list of the 5 people that you spend the most time with.
- Make a list of all of the things that you admire about them.
- Think about your goals that you have for yourself, and look at the list you wrote for what you admire. Circle the things that if you had those same skills or attributes it would make it easier for you to reach your goals. (Think about it, if you focus on those things specifically they will rub off on you. When you become great in those same things, it will just let them shine even brighter because they are also around you-that is like talking in a circle but I hope you get what I mean)
- How can you allow them to shine? Be intentional! Everyone likes to be in an environment that allows them to use their greatness. Ask questions that would stimulate their greatness. Maybe ask them for help with something. This will allow you to really see their greatness in a brighter light and they will feel good about it to!
- When you see the ugly part of people, give them grace. Guess what, they are human just like you. Forgive yourself for your ugly parts and do the same for others.
So, choose to become the sum of the greatness of the 5 people that you spend the most amount of time with!